In the Present
by JoplinHadleigh
Summary: A look back at Nessie and Jacob's struggle for love; the memories they made, heartache they struggled through. The ups, and the downs. Told through Jacob's Point Of View.
1. Chapter 1: Present

This is a new story I'm working on, this first chapter is fairly short (sorry).

I hope you like it, I sure do. c:

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight (Obviously) Or the wonderful lyrics I used below.

P.S. This Story will be from Jacob's POV, unless I note otherwise.

* * *

_Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more, And_  
_It's been a while but I still feel the same, Maybe I should let you go, You_  
_Know I'll fight my corner, And that tonight I'll call ya, After my blood is_  
_Drowning in alcohol, No I just wanna hold ya._

_Give Me Love, by Ed Sheeran_

She was gorgeous. No, that word couldn't even begin to describe Nessie. She was perfect. Radiant. She could have been an actress, or a model, anything. Except her beauty was much more than skin deep. She's the kindest woman I'd even known, and incredibly patient. She just finished her nursing training just over a year ago, and she was absolutely wonderful at it. She used to tell me all the stories she had of that day, or she would cry and tell me one of her favorite patients had died. No matter the circumstance of the day, I was just glad to have her telling me about it.

In that white dress, I wanted to stare at her forever. I knew a simple picture wouldn't matter- nothing could encompass that radiance, the sparkle in her eyes, and the blush of her cheeks. I knew just from looking at her that she wasn't wearing any makeup; she never had to. God, as if she needed to. She was flawless from the moment she woke up in the morning.

Sam was beside me and he put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "You gonna be okay?"

I gave him a quick smile to reassure him and then turned back to Nessie walking up the aisle, with Bella and Edward on either side of her.

In that moment, I remembered all of our times together. Rolling around in the grass together when she was little. Letting her ride around the yard on my back when I was phased. Holding her when she cried after her favorite boy band had broken up. Going swimming with her every day during summer.

I remembered all of my memories with her, even the bad. All the times we had fought about something stupid and insignificant. The time I followed her to a party, only to see her getting drunk; and I ran in and took her home right then. She didn't talk to me for a week afterwards. There were others, sadly, so many more.

"Are you sure you want to be here? I mean, we can all leave." Sam whispered. Billy was on the other side of me and he gave my hand a quick pat to reassure me he was there.

I sighed. "Nessie is my imprint, and even if she's getting married to someone else, I should be here. For her."

I watched as Edward and Bella gave her away, and both of them kissed her on the cheek.

Nessie was crying as she took her groom's hand. I knew that she loved him, and I also knew that he loved her. More importantly, I knew that I wasn't done fighting for her.

* * *

So, this is really short. I apologize profusely. However, I didn't want to give it away until the end. You know? Of course you do, you lovely reader you. c:

Reviews maybe?

Love, Joplin.


	2. Chapter 2: Past

You're probably thinking. Wow, she uploads all day, she probably has no life.

Correct!

Here's chapter 2.

Just to let you know, the chapter title dictates what time the chapter takes place.

I don't want to confuse you. c:

* * *

_I need your love_

_I need your time_

_When everything's wrong_

_You make it right_

_I feel so high_

_I come alive _

_-I need your love, by Ellie Goulding_

It was relatively cool for July, only about 65 degrees out. The wind off the ocean on La Push beach made it chillier. I was laying on the beach with Nessie, and I was ready to tell her everything.

"Hey Jake, do you have a sweater in your car?" She asked sheepishly. Her arms was wrapped around herself, and I realized how stupid of me it was to not have grabbed the blankets out of the back before we went down to the beach.

"Oh god. Nessie, I'm sorry. I'll be right back." I kissed the top of her head as I got up and ran to the car. Of course Nessie would be cold, she was half human; and the cold didn't bother me. I grabbed some blankets out of the backseat of my car and locked the doors before running back to her.

I fake panted. "I… Got… These… For... You." I collapsed on the sand next to her and wrapped her in a blanket.

She laughed at me and rested her head against her chest. "Now that I think of it, I didn't even need the blankets. I have my own heater right here." She smiled up at me.

"Oh, now you tell me!" I joked and wrapped my arms around her. I would always run and get blankets for her, no matter how long I had to run.

"It's so nice out today, I mean, minus the cold." She rolled onto her belly and rested her chin on my chest. "Don't you agree?" She asked.

"It's beautiful." I whispered, not taking my eyes off of her.

She blushed and then playfully wacked my shoulder. "I mean the view."

I grinned. "Me too."

"Uh!" She groaned, and rolled over to look up at the cloudy sky.

"Nessie, you know I love you, right?" I asked, rolling onto my side to look at her.

She smiled, "Of course Jake. I love you too." She rolled over to match my position, and our faces were dangerously close.

I wanted to taste her lips. I saw her putting on bubblegum lip gloss earlier; and when she noticed me watching her she blushed profusely. Now, I wanted to taste her lips, check if they really tasted like bubblegum.

"No, Nessie. I love you." My face was completely serious. I didn't know how to tell her. My heart beat fast, and my stomach suddenly felt full of butterflies.

She laughed, and then straightened her face, scrunched up her eyebrows. "No, I love you." She mocked, and then laughed until she snorted.

I realized this might not be as easy as I thought.

"You know how Sam loves Emily?" I asked once she stopped laughing.

"Yeah. I mean, it's their imprint thing right?" She asked, scooting closer to me as the wind blew.

"Yes Nessie, their imprint thing." I smiled and rested my hand on her back. "What do you know about the imprint thing?" I whispered.

"Uhm, well. It happens to the pack. I mean, you'll all do it, eventually…" She trailed off and then sat up quickly, pulling the other blanket around her. She stared at me, wide eyed.

"What?" I asked, sitting up with her.

"You… You've imprinted. Haven't you?" She whispered. Her eyes were watery. Her bottom lip stuck out a little. "Oh Jacob." She cried.

"Nessie. Sweetie, why are you crying?" I pulled her to me and started stroking her hair. She pulled away, quick as can be.

"Who is she Jacob? I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable with you touching me right now." Her voice was so low, I almost didn't hear. Tears spilled out from her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Who did you imprint on?! Who is she? How… How can you hold me like that, and… and…" She shook her head and started to stand up, until she tripped from the blankets. She started cursing and kicked the blankets loose.

"Oh." I jumped up and pulled her to me, holding my Nessie as she cried. My beautiful, sweet Nessie. "It's you." I whispered. "It's always been you, you're the only girl in my life."

"What?" she looked up at me, her eyes watery.

"It's you." I stroked her hair. "Since the very second I laid eyes on you. It's always been you. I just… I could never tell you before."

"You…" She started.

I smiled down at her and wiped her tears away with my thumb. "I love you, like Sam loves Emily. You're my imprint, Nessie."

She cried, holding onto me, her small arms around my torso.

I had no idea what to do. Was she crying because she loved me too? Because she was so relieved that I loved her? Or was she crying for another reason? I picked her and the blankets up in my arms and carried her to the car.

By then she settled down and only whimpered, her face still buried in my chest.

I had decided on the worst, she was sobbing because she didn't feel the same. She felt bad for me, knowing she didn't love me.

"I'll take you home." I whispered and opened the passenger door for her, once she was in I shut it and put the blankets in the trunk.

Nessie had always been a little more sensitive than others. As a child, she got really upset when I had killed a spider. If she saw a dead animal on the side of the road she got a little choked up. Hunting was horrible for her, instead the rest of the family went out and brought some blood back for her. She cried when she watched a romantic movie, cried when she read about war and genocide. For me, this was just an extra opportunity to hold her, to tell her that everything would be okay.

I got in the car and looked over at her before starting the car.

"I don't want to go home." She whispered.

I looked over at her. "Maybe it's for the best." I told her and drove back to the Cullen residence. I turned on the heater for her, and turned on her favorite radio station. She curled up in her seat and stared out the window, wiping at her face every so often.

I pulled into the driveway and got out, walking over to her side to open the door and help her out. Instead she sat there and looked down at her lap.

"Nessie." I groaned, "Don't make me carry you inside." My heart hurt, and I just wanted to be alone. I needed time to think, time to process the rejection.

"I love you." She whispered.

I sighed and leaned against the side of the car. "You don't have to do this." I told her.

She got out of the car. "I love you," She whispered, pressing her body to mine, "Like Nessie loves Jacob." She pressed her lips to mine, carefully, slowly.

In that second I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. And yes, her lips tasted like bubblegum.

* * *

I hope you liked it.

I'm sorry if Nessie comes off as being a total cry baby.

Review, Please? c:

Love, Joplin.


	3. Chapter 3: Past

Here's chapter 3.

I hope you like it. c:

* * *

_That boy take me away into the night_  
_Out of the hum of the street lights and into a forest_  
_I'll do whatever you say to me in the dark_  
_Scared I'll be torn apart by a wolf in mask_  
_Of a familiar name on a birthday card_

_Blow out all the candles_  
_Blow out all the candles_  
_"You're too old to be so shy"_  
_He says to me so I stay the night_

_-Candles, by Daughter_

I had been fixing up a house in my spare time. I had the pack to help me, and my dad to guide me, telling me how to fix the pipes and the insulation. Of course once the pixie got wind of it she put herself in charge of decoration- believe me, I was more than okay with that. I wanted the house to be perfect. Because the structure of the house was stable and didn't need too much work, it was an easy renovation. It was complete within three months. During those three months I threatened the life of every one working: under no circumstance could they tell Nessie.

It was going to be a surprise for her fifteenth birthday. Mentally and physically she was fully grown, but we still celebrated her birthdays. I was going to take her out somewhere nice, and then take her to the house… No, our house, and ask her to move in with me. We had been dating for a little over a year now, since I told her about my imprint. I have to say, it's been the best year of my life.

I walked up to her house with a bouquet of calla lilies, her favorite. I was dressed in nice pants, a button down; one of the only times I could remember dressing up. I walked to the main house and knocked politely on the door. I normally walked right in and found Nessie, but today I wanted to be a gentleman. Alice opened the door and grinned at me when she saw me.

"Is today the day?" She whispered and bounced up and down on her heels like a little kid.

I laughed and nodded. "Where's Nessie?" I asked.

"I'll go get her!" She squealed and ran away at pixie speed. Within moments she was back, leading Nessie down the stairs.

I was completely in awe. I mean, I always was when it came to Nessie's beauty, but today… wow. She was in a simple black dress, with black silver ballet flats; Nessie hated heels, much to Alice's dismay. He hair was done up in a ponytail, and she had a simple string of pearls around her elegant neck.

She smiled when she saw me and ran into my arms. "Wow, Jake. You look…" She blushed. "You look really nice. But, you didn't have to dress up for me." She looked up at me.

"Well, it's a wonderful occasion." I told her, realizing she didn't even know the half of it. I handed her the flowers.

"And calla lilies? Oh Jake." She smelled them. "Thank you." She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. "You're perfect."

"I'll take these, and put them in a vase in your room for you." Alice said, winking at me. "You two love birds are going to miss your reservation." She took the flowers and skipped off to the kitchen.

I laughed, "You heard her; we'll be late." I smiled and held out for Nessie to take it.

She did and I led her to the car, opened the door for her like a gentleman, and we were on our way to some fancy place the pixie had recommended.

"This... This is wonderful Jake. Really. I mean, we could have just hung out and watched movies, as long as I'm with my best friend." She squeezed my hand gently.

Was I just friend zoned? I wasn't even sure how to respond. "It- it's no problem, really Nessie." I told her, glancing over at her long enough to share a smile with her.

Dinner was wonderful, and Nessie absolutely loved the restaurant. The entire way to our house she talked about how she wanted a house like that. Modern, with plenty of lighting, a nice ambiance. I laughed, "Why don't you just move into that restaurant?"

"Well, maybe I should." She laughed.

I was suddenly incredibly critical of our house, wondering if she would love it. My palms were clammy, Alice decorated it with the intention of Nessie loving it. So, I shouldn't worry.

"Hey Jake, are you kidnapping me?" She asked, in a completely serious tone.

"Uh. No, why?" I asked.

"You missed the turn for my house." She laughed, "Did the waitress spike your drink? Are you okay to drive?"

I laughed kind of nervously, I had no legitimate excuse to make up to tell her. "I just want to show you something." I reached over and held her hand in mine as we continued to the house.

It wasn't very long, and Nessie talked the way there, calming my nerve a bit.

I pulled into the driveway and jumped out, half running to her door. I opened it and held my hand out to her.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"Just come on, Nessie." I pleaded.

"I'm not comfortable with this Jake." She whispered, looking around. We were completely isolated, there was no one around for a mile, at least.

"Nessie?" I crouched down to be eye level with her. "Would I ever hurt you?" I was hurt, she thought this was dangerous. What did she think was behind our front door? Did she think I was going to take advantage of her?

She stared at me for a while. "I'm sorry. Maybe the waitress spiked my drink." She felt her forehead, "I don't know what's wrong with me." She slowly got out of the car.

"We can just go back home." I muttered. "If you're uncomfortable?" I couldn't believe it, first I was friend zoned, now this? What was this?

She shook her head, reaching for my hand. "So, what is this?"

"A house." I told her.

"Jake." She kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry, it's just very… isolated. It's kind of creepy, don't you think? Kind of _Cabin in the Woods_-ish." She laughed.

"I wouldn't ever hurt you, Nessie. If I had the slightest thought you would get hurt…" I trailed off.

"I know. I know." She squeezed my hand and led me to the front door. "It's cute. Kind of homey." She smiled.

I smiled with her, when we got to the front door I reached in my pocket and pulled out a single key with a bright yellow ribbon attached. I handed it to her.

"What's this?" She asked, holding it.

"I want you to move in with me." I nuzzled my face in her hair. "Open the door, please." I whispered.

"Oh god." She whispered, "No. You-" She put the key in the lock and turned it. She slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

I reached for the light and she gasped.

She looked around, holding my hand tightly. I wasn't sure what to expect. But this wasn't it.

She went through every single room, pulling me along with her. One hand over her mouth, the other intertwined with mine. The last stop was her room. It was perfect, modern, with calla lilies on the night stand, and pictures of her and myself; her and her family; her with the pack. I hadn't seen her face this entire time, as she was leading me on the tour. She dropped my hand and sat on the bed, grabbing the picture of her and myself on the nightstand.

I kneeled in front of her, carefully. I wasn't sure what her reaction was. I moved the hair from her face and she looked at me, sniffling. Her face was wet with tears.

"It's perfect." She whispered. "Jacob, it's everything I've ever dreamed of." She put the picture down and pulled me close. "It's so perfect." She kissed the top of my head, running her hands over my back.

I looked up at her, "I'm so glad you like it."

She stood up and went through the closet. She laughed, "Of course, Aunty Alice has been here." She smiled at me. "Jake, you're so thoughtful."

I grinned, "I try." I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist. "I'm so glad you like it, honestly. I can't wait for you to move in with me, keeping this a secret was so hard."

She stiffened. "Jake, I don't know if moving in would be… the best idea."

* * *

Oh gosh, that ending. c:

Sorry about that. Bit of a cliffhanger.

Bit of heartache.

Reviews would be wonderful.

Isn't the song Candles wonderful?

I mean, it has nothing to do with the chapter, but, it kinda does? You know? c:

Love, Joplin.


	4. Chapter 4: Present

Oh, sorry.

This doesn't resolve the cliffhanger. c:

Oops.

No, but for real, that will be coming soon.

I promise. Here's a poll.

To resolve the cliffhanger, do you want it from Nessie's POV

Or still from Jake's?

Please review, and let me know. c:

Anyways, here's Chapter 4.

* * *

_I know you never meant to hurt me  
never meant to make my  
Eyes water like they do now  
forgive me if I don't come around_

I hope no one ever treats you  
any less than what you deserve

_-Moving on, by Timmy Curran_

The wedding reception was in the Cullen's yard. It was one of those hippy, modern sort of things. The tables and chairs were white, paper lanterns hung from the trees. There were small candles all over the tables. The pack took up two tables, and I sat in between Billy and Seth; both of which constantly tried to make conversation.

"I'm sorry. I don't really want to talk right now. Can we just… not?" I asked. I ran a hand through my hair. A part of me wanted to leave, to run away. I couldn't though, this was Nessie's special day, and she wanted me here. So I would stay, for her.

I watched the couples dance to some slow song, watching the pixie and Jasper twirl effortlessly on the dance floor. She planned the entire wedding, accepting little help from anyone else. It was perfect, all of it.

Someone tapped my shoulder. I sighed and turned around, only to see Nessie standing there.

She smiled at me, looking around at the table that had now quieted. "I'm sorry… Would you dance… with me?" She asked. I had never once heard Nessie be so shy. It was like her entire childhood didn't exist, and she hadn't spent her life with these people.

I shot the pack a glare and stood up. "Of course." I told her, motioning for her to lead the way. We got to the dance floor and she reached up to put her hands on my shoulders. I was almost afraid to touch her. Afraid I might not be able to stop.

"Do you not want to dance with me?" She whispered.

"I- Yeah. Yes. I do. I mean-" I trailed off, placing my hands on her small hips.

She rested her head on my chest and I could feel my heart beating out of control. How long had it been since we were this close? How long had it been since my hands were on her?

The song was beautiful and I had never realized how wonderful Nessie was at dancing. The gentle swaying of her hips, the effortless movement of her feet.

It was over far too early. I went to pull away, and she held on tight. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and I almost kissed her right there. I wondered if she still had the bubblegum lip gloss. The one that her sweet lips tasted like during our first kiss.

"One more dance, please. That's all I want. Then you can leave." Her eyes were watery.

"Always." I whispered, if it was possible, my heart was breaking all over again. Nessie could ask anything of me at this moment and I would gladly oblige. "I'll always dance with you." I pulled her to me again and swayed to the music. If only… I could think of a million of them.

If only this was our wedding. If she were my bride, I would take her home and-

NO. This… I couldn't. I couldn't think like that, not tonight.

I held her for the rest of the song, and then we separated. She wiped her eyes and gave me a weak smile before she hurried away.

I walked back to the table only to be stopped by Edward half way there.

"Jacob, can I speak with you, privately?" He asked.

'Oh shit.' I thought.

"No, it's nothing like that. I assure you." He motioned to the house and I followed him there. We were alone inside, and he sat down on a chair in the living room. "Please, sit." He pointed to the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Throughout Nessie's entire life, I assumed it would be you at the end of that aisle." He closed his eyes, "Towards her teen years, I had finally accepted that. I trust you, and I knew you would take care of her no matter what."

I couldn't speak. What was this? "Yeah, me too." I mumbled.

"Jacob Black, you promise me something." Edward said, opening his eyes and leaning forward.

I nodded. "Anything."

"Don't give up on her."

I almost laughed, "Why would I?"

"Promise me." He almost growled.

I looked him in the eye. "What's going on?"

"Promise me." He insisted.

I sighed. "Yes. I promise."

He nodded and sat back. "She loves you a lot more than she'll ever admit. Dancing with you…" He stopped and closed his eyes.

I stood up, "What?"

He was silent. He pinched the bridge of his nose and turned to a statue, unmoving.

"Edward. What are you talking about?" I almost throttled him. I wanted to shake the words out of him.

After a few more minutes of standing there I left. I told the pack I was leaving and they all offered to leave too. I said no, and dad told me he could get a ride home with Charlie. I left as quickly as possible, meeting Nessie's eye as I ran to my car.

She watched me drive away, standing as still as can be.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream at her, asking why she would marry this guy. This… This human! I wanted to steal her away. I wondered what I had done to upset the gods. What could I have done to deserve this?

I drove to our house. Our house. I walked inside; screaming, cursing. Hating myself for every fight, for every bad word I said around her. For everything I ever did wrong.

I walked right into her bedroom, which hadn't been her room in about a year. I cleaned it every so often to prevent spiders, and always, always with the hope it would be used again. I stared at the pictures on the wall. The pictures of Nessie and I when we went to her first high school dance. On the day she graduated college. I cried; shamelessly. I sat on the bed and wept openly like a child. All of the tears from the past year without her fell down my face. I laid on the bed and remembered her smell that had vanished from the pillows long ago.

* * *

I hope you liked it.

Please review on who's perspective you want the next chapter in.

Thank you.

Love, Joplin.


	5. Chapter 5: Past

Here's Chapter 5. c:

Someone asked if Seth was in this story.

*Awkward laugh* Uh, no.

I mean, I wasn't planning on it.

This is more of a Jake/Nessie through the years.

If he is, he'll be a minor character.

Not like he is in 'Home"

By the way, if you haven't checked that out.

You should. c;

No pressure or anything.

* * *

_This is the first day of my life_  
_I swear I was born right in the doorway_  
_I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed_  
_They're spreading blankets on the beach_

_Yours is the first face that I saw_  
_I think I was blind before I met you_  
_Now I don't know where I am _  
_I don't know where I've been_  
_But I know where I want to go_

_-First day of my life, by Bright Eyes_

"What?" I asked. Nessie didn't want to move in with me? I had restored this house with the intention of her joining me here. With the hope that she loved it so much she would move in.

"Jake. I'm so sorry. Honestly, but…. I'm starting high school in a few weeks and I just don't know if this would be such a good idea." She sat on the bed and ran a hand through her pony tail.

"I- I don't even know what to say…" I sat next to her. "Is there something wrong with me, Nessie?" I asked her. She had been acting weird all evening.

"What?" She turned to look at me quickly. "What on earth are you talking about Jacob Black?"

"All day. You've been acting… weird. In the car on the way to dinner, you… You called me your best friend. And when we got here this evening you didn't want to get out of the car. You were afraid- of what?" I put my hand on her cheek, "Of me? And now you don't want to move in with me. What did I do wrong Nessie?" I asked.

"Of course you're my best friend. What else would you be?" She took my hands in hers.

"Your boyfriend." I almost shouted it, "We've been dating for over a year now Nessie, you can't just… You can't do that."

She laughed. "What?"

"Why are you laughing?" I asked, completely appalled that she would laugh at something like this.

"You're not my boyfriend Jake. You never even asked me out." She crossed her arms over her chest and stood up, walking around the room.

"Yes I did!" I protested, standing up with her. And then I remembered, no. I never properly asked Nessie to be my girlfriend. I told her about the imprint, and from then on I took it as a confirmation that we were dating. "You're right." I whispered.

She laughed, not so harsh this time and she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh Jake. I'm always right." She said with a smile and then she kissed me sweetly. "You can ask me now." She sat down on the bed and pulled me down with her; kissing me the entire time.

"Will. You. Be. My. Girl?" I asked between kissing her sweet lips.

She giggled and rolled us over so she was on top. "Ask me again."

I groaned. "Nessie."

"Ask. Me. Again." She started unbuttoning the top few buttons on my dress shirt. It was slowly at first, and I hardly even noticed it until I felt her cool lips against my chest.

I gasped. Of course Nessie had seen me shirtless, she'd seen me nothing but a towel. And of course we kissed quite frequently, but it was always on the lips. This, was wonderful, and unexpected.

"Ask me again." She whispered in my ear, gently biting the lobe. Her hands ran through my short hair, and then down the back of my shirt. I groaned at the sensation of her nails into the skin of my back. Where did she learn to do this?

"Nessie. Be my girlfriend. Please." I was dangerously close to begging. This girl could reduce me to a puddle of begging, pleading mush. In a few seconds I would do anything for her. I would completely lose control.

She smiled down at me. "Sure!" She said and sat down next to me.

I was now aware of the bulge in my pants, and my eyes widened. I tried to sit up before she would notice but Nessie saw it.

She blushed and looked away, only to keep glancing at it every few seconds. "Are you excited?" She whispered.

I groaned. I was caught between wanting to make love to this beautiful girl; and being a gentleman and waiting until she was ready. "I'm sorry." I sat up, "I'll be right back."

"No! I mean, no. Please." She took my hand in hers and kissed my cheek. "I've never seen one." She confided.

"Really? I mean… never?" I'm not sure why it surprised me. I knew Nessie was a virgin, but I thought she would have seen one by now. "I mean, they're not something that you would really want to look at. It's not that…"I couldn't find the right word.

"Cute?" She asked.

I laughed. "Please don't say that." I kissed her on the forehead. "I should take care of this." I stood up.

"No, please. Jake." She whined.

It was hot. I mean, yes I loved Nessie and I would respect her no matter what. But the thought of her wanting to see my… member. Well, who was I to make a woman beg? However, I was a gentleman.

"Nessie. Really." I walked out of her room.

Only to hear her soft footfalls behind me. "Jaaaaaaaake." She whined some more. "Jake, it's my birthday."

I stopped. "Yes, and you're fifteen. All the more reason for you not to see it." I couldn't even believe we were having this conversation. Does she understand that Edward would kill me if I flashed his daughter? I don't even want to imagine the conversation..

"Fine. I'll just ask someone else." She marched back to her room, stomping her feet.

That thought turned my stomach and I followed her back. "Excuse me?" I turned her around. "You'll just ask somebody else? Do you know how many disgusting pieces-of-shit there are out there that would take advantage of you if you said that? Do you know how many sick fucks would hurt you?!" I was livid.

Her eyes were wide with fear. "Jake. I was kidding." She whispered.

"Yeah? And it's not funny. Don't you ever, ever say something like that again, do you understand? I would murder who ever fucking hurt you." I had never been this mad with her before, and I realized now how truly frightened she was.

"I was just…" Her lips moved and no sound came out. She looked like a deer trapped in headlights.

"Oh god. No, Nessie. I didn't mean to get mad you." I pulled her to me only to have her shove me away. "I'm not mad at you, just mad at the idea of anyone hurting you.

"I want to go home." She whispered. She was hyperventilating, and she kept shaking.

"Nessie, calm down baby. I won't hurt you." I led her to the bed and sat her down. "Baby, you need to breath. Okay? Deep breaths baby."

"I was just joking." She kept repeating as she tried taking deep breaths.

I sat behind her and rubbed her back. "I know. I know."

After a few terrifying minutes her breathing returned to normal. She stood up and looked from me to the door. "I'd really like to go home now."

"Nessie." I whispered. "Please baby. Don't do this. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I'll just call my dad to pick me up."

Oh god, not Edward. "Nessie. What do you want me to do? To say? I'm sorry." I pulled her back down and took her in my arms.

"I'm sorry I asked Jake." She rested her head on my shoulder, and for a second I had almost forgotten what we were fighting about.

I shook my head. "It's fine. I just don't want to pressure you with anything." I rubbed her back. I didn't want her to leave me, not tonight. I had wanted this night to be perfect, and I had ruined it. I wanted to celebrate our home with her falling asleep in my arms. I wanted this to be the start for the rest of our lives together.

* * *

Can I be completely honest? I was rather uncomfortable writing this.

I mean, there was nothing really vulgar.

I hope you guys never expect me to write any lemons. D:

That would be awkward for all parties involved

Thank You.

As always, please review. c:

Love, Joplin.


	6. Chapter 6: Past

Whooo. Here it is.

I hope you love it. c:

Just to warn you.

These next few chapters might make you hate me. c;

What can I say? Haha.

Please review.

* * *

_Some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without  
And just hold a smile  
Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and Proud of  
Together all the while_

_-Never Say Never, by The Fray_

I convinced Nessie to spend the night- tomorrow was her first day of high school and she was so nervous she hadn't been able to sleep for a week. She was starting as a senior and she was afraid she wouldn't fit in. My Nessie, not fitting in? That was funny, Nessie could make friends in a heartbeat. What worried me about that was the type of friends she'd be making. I could just imagine all the scum bags trying to get in her pants. It infuriated me, I would kill any of them if they even though of touching her.

"We should play truth or dare." Nessie looked over at me; we were laying in the backyard, staring up at the stars.

I groaned, "Nessie, I've known you since you were born, I don't think truth applies." I shot her an accusatory glance, "Unless you're leading a second life as an undercover spy."

"See, you don't know everything about me" She laughed. "But seriously though, I don't know everything about you."

"Fine, you can ask me anything you want." I took her hand in mine and squeezed it gently before looking back up at the night sky.

"Okay. Uhhh. Gosh, this is harder than I thought." She rolled onto her side to look at me. "Who was your first kiss?" She smiled, confident this was something she didn't know about me.

I swallowed and dropped her hand. "Pass."

"What?" She sat up, "Jaaaaake, you can't pass."

"I said pass." I sat up with her, "It's a stupid question anyways, why does it matter who I kissed before you?"

"Why can't you just tell me?" She asked, one eyebrow was raised, in that way it got when she was annoyed. "Jake, it's not like I'm going to be mad. I doubt I know her anyway."

She didn't even know the half of it. "Bella."

"See there ya-" She stopped and stared at me. "Bella? BELLA? You kissed my mother?" She stood up and spit in the grass. "Oh Jake."

"Nessie, it was a long time ago. Before you were even born." I stood up and turned her to face me, "A long time ago, okay?"

"No, Jake. Not okay. That's... That's disgusting. How could you kiss my mother? And then you kiss me? God, that's sick."

"Nessie, it's not like that. I love you, you're my imprint. I didn't know any better at the time." I held her face in my hands. "Don't you ever think any differently; I love you, and you're the only girl I'll ever want."

She looked me in the eyes and nodded. "Yeah, alright. Maybe we should go inside and get ready for bed." She walked past me and into the house.

I followed her "Nessie, don't be like this. Please! I'm sorry." What did she expect me to say to make this better? She was the one who insisted on me answering the question- and I wasn't going to lie to my Nessie about something as stupid as kissing her mom.

"I know, it's just… gross." She shook her head. "I just want to take a shower and put my pajamas on and watch a movie with you until I fall asleep. Okay?"

I nodded, "I'll pop some popcorn, okay?"

"Thanks!" She called over her shoulder and walked to the bathroom.

I put the popcorn in the microwave and took this time to clear off my bed and find a movie I thought Nessie would like to watch. By the time she was done in the shower, the house smelled like buttery popcorn and the sweet smell of Nessie's coconut shampoo. She walked into my room with the popcorn and a bottle of lotion.

"Jake, do you think you could give me a massage? My shoulders are killing." She sat in front of me and handed me the bottle of coconut lotion.

As if I could ever refuse such an offer. I moved her hair out of the way and let my fingers trail across her skin as I pushed her bra and tank top straps down her arms. Her head slid forward with a soft moan.

I kissed the back of her neck and rubbed the lotion on her porcelain skin as I massaged it in. I tried my hardest not to hurt her as I worked the knots out of her shoulders. I smirked at the small noises she made, the soft grunts as she dug her nails into the comforter of the bed. The soft moans followed by her deep intakes of breath.

"Done." I whispered and she turned around and kissed me.

"That was perfect." She smiled and cuddled next to me.

I ignored the bulge in my sweats and held her next to me. I turned on some chick flick I found for her and grabbed a handful of popcorn. Tomorrow morning I would drive her to her first day of school. A part of me felt like I was losing her. My Nessie was growing up, she was going to meet new people. My biggest fear was that she would meet some scum bag, and I had to reassure myself that she would be fine. I kissed the top of her head, knowing I would do anything for her to not leave. This is what she wanted, and I had to let her do this; who was I to deny my Nessie what she wanted?

The next day I woke up to Nessie shoving me awake. "Jake. Jake. Wake up, I'm going to be late." She was already dressed and holding a package of pop tarts. "Here: I made you breakfast," she dropped them on my chest, "Now let's go. I'm going to be late."

I looked over at the time 7:30. "Shit." I said and got up, grabbing the pop tarts and slipping on shoes. She took my hand in hers and half ran- half dragged me out of the house.

We made it to the school in record time.

"I'm so nervous Jake." She looked at me with big brown eyes, "What if I make a total fool of myself? What if everyone laughs at me? What if I trip or something walking inside?"

I took her hands in mine. "They'll all love you. You're perfect, don't worry."

"Thanks Jakey," she grinned as she called me by her childhood nickname for me, "Wish me luck!" She started getting out of the car.

"Wait. Wait. Don't I get a kiss?" I hollered out the open door.

She laughed and kissed me slowly, letting it linger. "I hope that lasts until 3:30 when you come to pick me up." She left, slamming the door, and running into the school.

* * *

I hope you loved it.

Please review, it's the best motivation. c:

Love, Joplin.

P.S. I have a new story I'm working on, and you should check it out. c:


	7. Chapter 7: Past

_She's sitting at the table,  
The hour's getting later,  
He was supposed to be there,  
She's sure he would've called  
She waits a little longer  
-Forever and Always, by Parachute_

I had been in the shop since I dropped Nessie off at her first day of school. I was working on this car that came in- and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. I thought I had only spent an hour looking over this car's engine when Seth came in to ask me what time I was going home.

"What do you mean? What time is it?" I rolled out from underneath the car.

"Uh, Jake you've been working at that car all day." He checked his watch, "It's four thirty."

I felt my stomach drop as I jumped up, "No way in hell." I looked at the clock on the wall, four thirty, on the dot. "Fuck. Why didn't you tell me?" I ran out of the shop and got in my car. I was an hour late for picking up Nessie. She was going to kill me.

By the time I got to her school there were barely any cars in the parking lot. It was four forty. I drove around the entire school, twice trying to find her. Had she walked home? Had she borrowed someone's phone to call her parents- thinking I had forgotten about her? Or worse, she had been kidnapped by some sick fuck. I wanted to scream.

I drove to her house as fast as possible, luckily avoiding any speeding tickets. As soon as the keys were out of the ignition, I was running to the front door, not even bothering to knock.

"Whoa, Whoa." Bella stopped me with a hand to my chest, "Where are you going?"

"Nessie. Where is she?! Is she safe? Oh god Bells." I ran my hands through my short hair.

"She's fine, Jake. She got a ride home from someone she met at school today." She gave me an angry look, "Because someone forgot to pick her up.."

"Can I see her? Where is she?" I tried to push past her, forgetting how strong Bella was as a vampire.

"She's out with Alice buying a new phone. She said she doesn't want to have to go through that again. Jake, I really think you should leave, she came home crying because you forgot about her. And I really don't think she wants to see you when she gets here."

"No, Bells. I have to be here, I have to see her."

Bella wasn't budging, "Jake." She warned.

"Please Bells. Please." I begged.

She sighed and nodded, "But if she asks you to leave, I want your ass out of my house. Do you understand?" She paused, "Jake, she could have been kidnapped- after you promised her you would be there." She shook her head and walked into the kitchen.

I sighed and sat down in the living room, waiting. It wasn't that long until Nessie came home, and she poked her head in the door, "Momma." She hissed.

Bella ran to her in a moment, "What?"

"Jake's car is here." I heard Nessie whisper.

"I know baby. He wants to see you."

Nessie groaned, "I don't want to see him. Not today Momma." She stomped inside.

My imprint didn't want to see me. My heart felt suffocated, my limbs felt tingly. I had no idea how to react when she walked in.

"Hey Jake." She mumbled, sticking her new phone in her pocket.

"Nessie." I started, walking over to her and pulling her against me, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know what time it was until Seth told me it was 4:30. Darling, I'm so sorry I was swamped at the shop and I didn't mean to forget about you. You know that don't you?"

"Jake. You forgot about me." She shook her head, and wiggled out of my arms. "I expected you to be there. I waited for thirty minutes, waiting. So Luke gave me a ride, at least he waited with me." She spat.

"Luke?" I couldn't control this anger. She got into a car with a strange boy and thought nothing of him taking her home?

"No. No." She poked her finger in my chest, "No, you don't get to be mad. You weren't there. Luke was." She glared at me. My small, beautiful Nessie was furious.

A part of me wanted to beg for forgiveness, another part of me wanted to find this Luke and murder him for even looking at Nessie.

"Ness. He could have hurt you. He could have kidnapped you. How could you just get in a car with some stranger?" I wanted to shake her.

"Because he was there…. Jake, I want you to go. Now." She whispered.

My throat closed, "Ness. No, please. I'm so sorry." I whispered. "Please, Nessie. Just let me stay, I'll forget all about you getting into the car with a stranger. Please, I'll promise to remember next time."

Wrong thing to say. "Go. Now." She spun on her heels and walked into her bedroom.

"Jacob." I heard Bella call from the entryway.

I growled and ran to my car. I don't know how long I stayed there, but eventually Edward walked out. "Jake, you need to leave." He sighed, "I'll tell Nessie to call you later, but right now she doesn't want to see you."

"She got into the car with a stranger. Did she tell you that? How could you let her do that Edward, don't you understand what could have happened?" I gripped the steering wheel so hard it almost broke.

"I do. I met this Luke, he's very nice actually. His thoughts were very appropriate. Maybe you should thank him." He walked back inside.

I drove home, fuming. I didn't even know what to do without Nessie here. Should I clean? Nessie and I normally cleaned together, but I figured it would be nice for her to come home to a clean house.

By seven o'clock she still hadn't called- and the house was practically sparkling I had cleaned so much. I sat by the phone and watched a football game on TV.

I don't know what time the phone rang, but I had been passed out on the couch. The TV was still on and there was drool on the pillow I was sleeping on.

I sprang up, "Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Hey Jake. I'm just calling to tell you that my dad is going to take me to school tomorrow. And you don't have to worry about picking me up either." Nessie told me.

"I'll be there Nessie. I'm so sorry." I wiped the drool off my mouth and looked at the time, it was midnight. "What are you doing up this late Ness? You have school tomorrow."

She paused, "I was just learning how to use my phone."

"I'll be there tomorrow to pick you up Ness." I assured her.

"I won't hold my breath." She muttered before she hung up.

* * *

I hope you liked it.

Please. Please. Please review.

Even a simple, "Good Job" Or a "This sucks"

They seriously make my day (Okay, not the latter, but you get it, right?)

Thanks. c:

Love, Joplin.


	8. Chapter 8: Past

Hey Hey Hey. c:

I've had a lot more reviews and a lot more views.

I'm so happy, you guys make me the happiest clam in the sea. c;

Haha.

* * *

_Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!  
Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man -yeah!  
Didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?  
Honey, you know I did!  
And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,  
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough._

_-Piece of my Heart, by Janis Joplin._

I was there to pick her up at 3:30. I got off work at three o'clock to make sure I would have enough time; I stopped by the store on the way and picked up a bouquet of flowers. I remember how much she loved them a few weeks ago for her fifteen birthday- so I picked up the same kind.

I leaned against the car with the flowers and waited until Nessie walked out of the school. During the wait, I got proposed to by a girl, and two other girls' numbers; which I politely declined. Nessie walked out talking to some boy with blonde hair, laughing and flipping her hair. Alright, it was kind of windy; but really Nessie?

She saw me and waved and said her good-byes to her friend before running over and hugging me. "Oh Jake. I'm so sorry about how I acted yesterday. I just thought that you forgot about me or had something better to do." She kissed my cheek.

"No, Ness. It's my fault… Which is why I bought you flowers, to make up for it." I kissed her back and handed her the flowers. "I want to take you somewhere. The movies? The beach? Anywhere you want to go." I whispered.

"Home." She smiled and held the lilies to her nose.

"Oh." I didn't want to take her home. She didn't want to spend time with me today? Was she still mad? Or did she have some plans with someone else. I clenched my fists and tightened my jaw.

She laughed, "No, you silly. Home. Our home." She smiled and ran to the other side of the car, hopping in and buckling her seatbelt before I could realize what happened.

Our home. Our home. Our home. Those were the sweetest words I knew. Like candy on my tongue, like warmth in my heart. I got in and kissed her passionately. "Our home." I whispered, loving the taste of it on my lips.

She giggled. "Let's go silly. I don't want to be caught making out in your car."

"What does it matter Ness? Are you embarrassed?" I pulled away and turned on the car anyway.

"No, Jake. Not like that, I just don't want you getting in trouble. You know, like public indecency or something. I am a minor." She laughed.

I cringed, thinking of Nessie as a minor made my stomach turn. I shouldn't be thinking about her that way if she considered herself that. "You can turn on the radio, Ness." I drove out of the parking lot.

"Do you mind if I try a new radio station? Luke told me about this cool one, it's all alternative music." She turned the radio on and messed with the dial until she found it. It sounded irritating to me.

"Whatever happened to you liking classical music?" I asked.

"Well, I do. I can like more than one kind of music can't I?" She turned the volume up and I wanted to scream. Nessie and I always listened to classical music in the car. She would tell me about how relaxed it made her, how it always reminded her of home because Edward was always playing the piano.

The rest of the car ride home was awkward, I hated the music- though I would never tell Nessie to change it. She was perfectly content dancing in the seat next to me.

We got home and she went and put her stuff in her room. I hadn't realized how long she had been gone until I heard her laughing hysterically. I ran into her room, frantic thinking she was having some kind of psychotic breakdown.

She was rolling on her bed, clutching her stomach and laughing.

"Oh Jake." She laughed. She held her phone out to me and I looked at it. It was a short video of two guys laughing, one of them looked like the boy she was walking out of school with. I was furious, why did she have videos of him on her phone?

I handed it back to her with a "hmmph" and walked out. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Why was she acting this way? Was it because of her new friends at school? Or was it this new phone she had? I had never realized how much of a teenager Nessie really was.

She walked into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" She asked, walking up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

I turned in her hold, "Why do you have videos of some… some boy dancing, on your phone? Am I even anywhere in there? Hmm?" I was furious.

"Jake… He's just a friend. That's all. I promise." She kissed my chest.

"No, I just can't think straight when you talk about him. I see red, and- and I start to shake. All I think about is him trying to kiss you or…" She cut me off.

"Are you jealous?" She smiled.

"What? Why are you smiling? Nessie, I'm serious. I'm your boyfriend. You can't just talk about other guys and-" She cut me off again.

"Exactly, Jacob Black. You are my boyfriend. No one else. You. I love you. So quit fussing over a friend." She pulled me down and kissed me. "I know you feel you need to protect me from every bump in the night and every creep. But Jake, I'm a woman and I can protect myself... Maybe, I can even protect you." She whispered.

I smiled in spite of myself. I knew she would never understand the immense hate I felt for any male who looked at her. I knew she would never know how much I wanted her in my arms every waking moment. How the nights when she was away I stayed up, agonizing about how scared I was for her safety. However, she was right: she had protected me from so much. She protected my heart, and like everything else she did: she did it amazingly well.

* * *

Two small things. One, THE LYRICS I USED.

Did you catch that? Janis. JOPLIN.

I'm a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of hers. c:

Secondly, I'm not sure how many of you are huge Plath fans but...

The last line in the story is definitely inspired by her. (Well, one of her poems...)

Again, I'm a HUGE Plath fan. c;

(After writing Huge so much it doesn't even look like a word.)

Thanks for reading, please review. (I'm not even sure if huge is a word anymore.)

Anyways, next chapter is going to be in Future. Brace Yourselves.

-Joplin. c;


	9. Chapter 9: Past

Wowza. It's been forever since I uploaded.

Sorry. :c

So, I kinda maybe almost sorta really lied.

About this chapter being in the future.

It's not. My deepest apologies.

* * *

_Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight_

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say... a total eclipse of the heart  
-Total Eclipse of the Heart, by Bonnie Tyler

Nessie had been going to school for a few months now, and she practically had moved in with me. Life was amazing, I woke up every day to the love of my life. I drove her to school, picked her up. We would spend all afternoon together, doing whatever we wanted. No parents to worry about. Just my love and I.

"Hey Jaaaaaaake." She started when she got into the car when I picked her up.

Things never turned out well for me when she started a sentence with that. I groaned, "What?" I looked over at her, trying to look upset while I was hiding a smile.

She leaned over and kissed me, "SotheresadancethisweekendandIreallywanttogoandIne edtogodressshopingandyouneedtolookforasuitbecausey ourwgoingwithmeorelseIllprobublynevertalktoyouagai nifyoudontbecauseitssuperimportant." She breathed.

My mind felt like static. Like the pins and needles feeling when your feet fall asleep. "Can you repeat that?" I started driving through the parking lot.

She sighed, "There's a dance at school. And I really want to go, and I want you to go with me."

I felt my stomach lurch. Dancing? High school students? People who could easily remember me? "Ness." I started.

She stared at me then turned to look out the window. "Never mind. Forget I asked." She crossed her arms and looked out the window.

"Darling, please. This could jeopardize our lives. The lives of our families. Someone could recognize you or me. Someone could recognize us and we'd have to pack up and leave everything behind. It's hard enough for you to go to school." I reached my hand across to pat her leg and she scooted closer to the door.

"Forget I said anything." She pulled out her phone and her headphones and tuned me out.

When we got home she went straight to her room and slammed the door.

I sat on the couch and waited for a few minutes for her to calm down and then I knocked on her door. "Nessie, baby, can we just talk?" I leaned my head against the door.

"Go away." She answered.

I opened the door.

"Damniit. Go. Away." She threw a pillow at me.

"Nessie, please. Talk to me." I sat down on the bed.

"No! This was something I really wanted Jake. My one and only school dance. And you had to fuck it up. Somehow." She rolled her eyes and got up, "I'm going home."

"Ness… Fine, I'll go. I'll go."

She ran back into the room, "You will?" She threw her arms around me.

"Yes. I will." I buried my face in her hair. "So when is this dance thing?" I held her in my arms.

She laughed, nervously. "Uhm, Saturday." She kissed me.

"Saturday? As in, tomorrow?" I stared at her, waiting for her to correct me. I tried to figure out a plan to make this work. I sighed, "Okay. I guess we can go shopping tonight. If you want."

She practically jumped through the roof. "Really? Oh Jake. Let's go. Let's go right now. Let's go." She pulled me up and grabbed her purse.

I laughed. If taking her shopping meant she would be this happy, I would take her shopping every day. She pulled me out of the house and I drove to Port Angeles.

We didn't get home until close to three a.m. Nessie fell asleep in the backseat and carried her inside and went to bed with her in my arms.

I woke up the next morning to a note on my bed side table:

Went to Aunt Alice for hair and makeup

Pick me up at 7

With my all my heart, Nessie

I sighed and figured out what to do with myself until then. I went to the florist and picked up some flowers for her- cala lilies. I went back home and watched tv until it was time to get dressed and pick Nessie up. The whole ride over to the Cullen's house was stressful. I had never been to a school dance before. What if random boys tried to dance with her? I don't think I would be able to control myself.

I pulled up and knocked, holding the flowers. I smiled fondly remembering picking Nessie up on her fifteenth birthday. Edward opened the door. "Jacob. You clean up nicely." He stood aside and let me in.

Nessie walked over to me. God, she was gorgeous. She always was but today. Damn.

Edward cleared his throat, causing Nessie to blush. "Are you ready to go?" She took my hand and kissed her dad on the cheek. "Goodbye daddy." She pulled me out of the house and straight to the car.

She practically pushed me in the driver's seat and I wondered where she'd been storing all this extra strength. She got in the passenger seat. "Drive. Quickly. Please."

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" I would kill whoever hurt her.

"Please." She squeaked.

I had no choice but to drive. I sped away and didn't stop until she told me to pull over. "Here. It's perfect, right here." We were in the middle of nowhere. Surrounding by trees.

"What happened Nessie? What's wrong?" I pulled her to me.

"Oh god. Jacob. You in that suit." She moaned against my lips. "My dad heard me and…" She trailed off, kissing me.

I don't think I had ever seen Nessie this… horny. I could… Oh god, I could smell her. She pressed her hand to my cheek and showed me an image of us, naked in bed. That had to be a dream of hers.

"Jake," She pulled away and framed my face with her small hands. "I'm ready, Jacob Black. After the dance. I want you take me home and make me yours. Please." She looked at me with her big brown eyes and I had to do everything in my power to not take her right then and there.

"I don't think I can wait." I groaned. I wanted her so badly. I waited this long for her, and of course I would still wait however longer she wanted. Though right now…

"Please." I thought she was going to cry, "Please, after the dance."

I held her in my arms, "Of course Renesmee. Whenever you want." I kissed the top of her head. Now I only had the growing problem in my pants. "Just give me a moment." I sighed and she scooted off my lap.

"Should I show you something gross? Like old ladies on a nude beach in France?" She offered.

Before I had time to politely decline, I saw it. My pants were no longer a problem.

We continued to the school, only to be five minutes late. Nessie showed the chaperone our tickets and he gave me a dirty look before waving us through. Nessie held onto my hand as she led me to a table where her friends were. "Hey, this is Jake." The girls stared at me in wonder, the boys gave me a once over before looking at their dates. I recognized Luke right away and I pulled Nessie to me.

Nessie introduced me to all of them and I forgot all of their names as soon it was over. "Well, it's nice to meet you all." I responded politely. "Maybe you and I should dance?" I whispered in her ear.

And we did; and it was wonderful. She did most of the work, being a half vampire meant she had the talent and grace of Anna Pavlova. She was the best dancer here- and that wasn't my biased opinion. She was perfect. When a more upbeat song came on she pulled me back to the table and sat down with me. We were sitting there for a few minutes until Luke came over.

"Hey Nessie, do you want to dance?" He asked.

She laughed, "Really Luke?"

He looked hurt, and I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"You told me you would, remember?" He asked.

I suddenly looked at Nessie, she promised this jerk she'd dance with him?

"Luke…" She groaned but stood up anyways.

Was she going to dance with him right in front of me? I stood up with her and pulled her beside me. "Hey, if she doesn't want to dance with you. She's not going to fucking dance with you." I towered over him.

"Hey, bro. Step back, okay? We're just friends. You can calm yourself." He snapped.

"Jake, really its fine." Nessie patted my arm.

"No, Nessie. It's not fine. I'm not going to let this creep dance with you." I couldn't understand why she would want to dance with him.

"Hey. Hey. Seriously bro, back the fuck off." Luke took Nessie's hand and started to lead her away.

She didn't even look back. She walked, her hand in his.

My fist collided with his face. I'm not sure how my feet carried me from where I stood to where they were dancing. I don't remember much after that either, only I was shoved out the door of the school and Nessie was screaming at me. I had embarrassed her. She couldn't believe how selfish I had been. I couldn't understand the bulk of what she was yelling.

"Are you even listening to me? Jacob Black! You answer me right now." She yelled, her finger was pointing into my chest.

I was shaking, afraid I might phase right there. "What?"  
She screamed into the night. "That's it. I'm done. I'm so fucking done." And she walked back into the school.

* * *

Wow. That was a lot. I wanted to get that all said and done with in one chapter.

Sorry if it feels super rushed. :c

I'll explain it more in next chapter.

Thanks for reading.

Hope you review.

Love, Joplin.


	10. Chapter 10: Present

Hey there. Here's chapter 10. c:

Hope you like it.

* * *

_When you cry a piece of my heart dies,  
Knowing that I may have been the cause,  
If you were to leave, fulfil someone else's dreams,  
I think I might totally be lost._

_You don't ask for no diamond rings,_  
_No delicate string of pearls,_  
_That's why I wrote this song to sing,_  
_My beautiful girl._  
_-The Girl, by City and Colour_

Nessie came to see me the day she got back from her honeymoon. She dropped Luke off at their apartment and drove straight over. She walked in the door, calling for me.

"Jaaaaaaaake?! Are you home?" She asked as she closed the door. "Oh, Bruno! You big beast. I missed you baby!" I heard her drop her purse and keys and fall to the floor.

I walked out of the kitchen to see her on the floor with our English bulldog perched on top of her; licking her face. "Bruno! Come on, get off of Ness." I snapped my fingers.

"He's fine Jake. I won't break, promise." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. "Oh baby. You stink." She said in her baby voice. "When was the last time you washed him?" She asked me.

"When was the last time you washed him?" I smirked.

"Jacob Black! You are a horrible father!" She scolded, still smiling.

I realized it was a joke, but it hurt. I wouldn't ever be a father. This dog Nessie and I adopted would be the closest thing to a child for us. How ironic, a wolf and a half vampire and a bulldog. I remember when we first got him and Ness would insist on calling me daddy in front of the dog. At first, I thought it was silly; I wasn't a father to a dog. To Ness though, we were a family: Mom, Dad, and Dog.

She gently pushed Bruno off her lap, "At least you remember to feed him. He's getting so big." She patted his bulky head before standing up and running into my arms. "Miss me?" She asked.

I sighed; she didn't even know the half of it. "Nah, Bruno and I are getting along just fine." I joked. In truth, ever since she left Bruno would whine at her bedroom door every morning, and every night. He would give me sad eyes when I walked in the door by myself. Whenever anyone came to visit, his small tail would begin to wag and he would sit patiently at the door; waiting for Ness to walk in the door.

"Oh really?" She asked as Bruno pawed at her legs, "I think he's missed me." She smiled as she pulled away from my embrace.

The loss of her in my arms hurt. It had been so long since I held her, it had been too long since I saw her. I don't know what I would do when she left.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked as she sat on the couch.

"No thanks, just come sit with me please." She patted the seat next to her.

As if I could turn down such an offer. I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. Relishing the feeling of her leaning back into me.

"How was your honeymoon?" I asked. In truth, I didn't care about where she went or what she ate or what she did. I wanted to hear her voice after not hearing it in a month. I wanted to touch her after not being able to in so long.

"Are you sure?" She turned to look at me.

I nodded.

"Well, we went to Mexico-"

I cut her off, "You went to Mexico? What were you thinking? Don't you watch the news? There are drug lords and mafias and kidnappings." My blood was beginning to boil. Who let her go to such a place? "Does Edward know you went there?"

"Jaaaaaake. Calm down. We went to one of those resorts, they're super safe. Trust me. It's where all the rich high school kids on spring break. It was kind of boring, actually. Anyways, we went there for a week, and then we went to Isle Esme…" She kept talking and I got lost in her words. These were the things we were supposed to do on our honeymoon. That should have been me making love to her on our wedding night. That should have been me on the other end of the aisle. It should have been us, coming back home to Bruno; waiting patiently.

"Excuse me, I just need to get something to drink." I stood up abruptly and went to the kitchen. My mind was racing. What was wrong with me? What did I do wrong to be forced to live without my imprint? Yes, I was her best friend. But I couldn't take that much longer. God, I loved her. I loved everything about her and-

"Jake. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you about my honeymoon. I just…" She buried her face in my back. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"No. No. It's my fault, I asked. It's just hard for me." I turned around and held her in my arms. I didn't want to let her go. Ever.

"I'm so sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come over." She whispered and looked up at me.

"NO. No, Ness. You can always come over. It's your house, too. And Bruno and I love to see you." I looked down at her.

She shook her head, "It's not my house Jake." She pulled away and went to the living room, only to come back with her purse and her keys. "I should leave."

"Please don't Ness." I walked over to her and raised my hands to her shoulders, only to drop them. I wanted to touch her. To hold her. I wanted to make love to her like we did before. I wanted it to be sweet, passionate. I wanted her. I wanted that to be my ring on her finger.

She looked up at me, "Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while. I just- I don't want to confuse you or anything. I don't know…" She sat down on a kitchen chair.

I kneeled in front of her and rested my head on her legs. "I'm sorry, for everything. For every fight. For anything that I did to make you upset." Was this my Karma for fighting with her, for making her cry? A lifetime of seeing her in the arms of someone else?

She whimpered, "It's not your fault Jake. Everything is just different now." She choked on a sob, "I don't understand my feelings. I don't..." She trailed off and stood in her spot, pushing me away. "I really have to go. I shouldn't have come back here. I shouldn't have done… I shouldn't have done so many things." She walked out.

She didn't understand her feelings? What was that supposed to mean? I ran after and stopped her right as she got in her car. "Ness. Please, wait! Talk to me."

"I can't. This is so wrong Jacob. I'm married and-I shouldn't be at your house! God, this is so wrong! I can't keep seeing you like this." She got in her car and started the engine. "I love you, Jacob Black. I love you so very much… I won't bother you again." She drove away as I stood there, rooted in spot. Nessie loved me. Nessie loved me. She didn't say she loved me as a friend or a brother; which she had as of lately. She loved me. I turned back to the house to see Bruno looking at me from the window; somehow I knew he blamed me for making her leave.

* * *

Oh, this chapter. :c

I am a huge English Bulldog fanatic.

I mean, really? How could you not love that face?

Their just big babies. c:

Love, Joplin.


	11. Chapter 11: Past

No fancy author's note. Sorry. c:

* * *

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came  
-How to save a life, by The Fray

I stood by my car and watched Nessie walk out of school with her friends. Luke was nowhere to be seen. She saw me in the dim light of the parking lot and walked over.

"Jacob Black, leave." She hissed. I had never seen her this angry. Her jaw was clenched and her hands were shaking.

"Nessie, baby, I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me." I reached for her hands but she stepped back quickly.

"No, not after this. You've shown that you can't even trust me to dance with a friend. A friend Jake. His parents had to pick him up and take him to the hospital with a broken nose." She shook her head, "I'm done with this- us." She spat.

My heart felt empty, like all the blood rushed out; like my veins collapsed. "Ness, baby. Please, give me another chance." I was begging, and I would continue to beg for her forgiveness until she forgave me.

She stared at me, "I can't even believe you; you think it's that easy don't you? That you can just apologize and somehow I magically forgive you?"

I hung my head, "No, Ness. I know it's not like that." I looked back up at her and she looked like she was about to cry.

"I can't believe you Jacob. I was going to- Ugggh!" She wrung her hands, "I was ready to give myself to you… And you do this?" She looked around the parking lot, "I'm not going to have this conversation with you. Goodbye Jacob."

"Ness, please don't go. I'll do anything. Just don't go." I held onto her arm for life. She was my anchor in this ocean. My only importance.

She stood there, silent for a minute. "Just take me home Jacob." She pulled out of my grip and walked to the other side of the car. She climbed in the passenger seat and stared out the window.

I got in and drove off, too quickly. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her, close to me. After ten minutes of silence, I finally spoke: "Ness…" I trailed off, unsure of how I wanted to phrase my question.

"What, Jacob?" She only called me Jacob when I had done something wrong. More than anything I wanted to hear her voice calling me Jake. I wanted to do anything in power to make her laugh; or smile in the very least. I wanted her to forgive me. I wanted her to completely forget why she was ever mad at me to begin with.

"Did you mean- what you meant? About us?" I instantly regretted asking that. I didn't want to know the answer; I wanted to be forget she ever uttered those words. I wanted to pretend like this night never even happened.

"Jacob." She sighed and looked over at me.

"Answer me Ness, please." I whispered. My throat closed. I wanted to pull over but we were half way home.

"Jake…" She rested her hand on my knee and leaned back in her seat. "No, I didn't. I understand why you did what you did. It just really upsets me that you did." She gave me a little smile, "I love you, Jacob Black; but sometimes you can be a real dick." She laughed.

My heart filled with joy at that sound. That beautiful sound of her laughter. I took her hand in mine and held it all the way home. We walked inside, holding hands and I leaned down to kiss her once the lights were on and the door was shut.

"Not tonight." She whispered and pushed me away; it was gentle but nonetheless painful.

"Ness, I didn't mean anything-" I started. All of a sudden I felt like the worst guy on the planet. Did she think I was going to take advantage of her?

She shook her head, "I don't care what you meant by it. I just, really don't want to kiss you right now." She whispered and walked away. She started taking the pins out of her hair.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I followed her.

"You know exactly what it means. Now leave me alone." She whirled around to face me. "Leave me alone, for one godamned night. Can you do that Jacob? I might have taken back what I said about us; but that doesn't mean I forgive you. Nor does it mean that I want to kiss you right now." She walked into her room and started rummaging through her drawers, pulling out her pajamas.

I followed her to the bathroom and stood outside the entire time. I listened to the shower start. I listened to the snapping noise of her shampoo and body wash bottles open and close. I listened to her sobs. I listened to every noise she made; and then I waited on her bed until she came back out.

"Jake- please." Her eyes were still red and puffy.

I shook my head and opened my arms. "I'm not leaving this room." I said.

She dropped her stuff and climbed onto the bed and right into my arms.

"I'm sorry for everything Ness. Everything, and I don't know how to make it up to you. So, please, please, just let me hold you. Until you can think of some horrible punishment for me. Just let me hold you." I whispered into her wet hair.

She cried into my chest until she fell asleep. And knowing those sobs and those tears were caused by me would be punishment enough for a million lifetimes. Whenever Nessie cried because of me, I wanted to cry with her. I wanted to take away all of her sorrows. I would mourn for the rest of my life if it meant she would be happy. If it meant she wouldn't shed another tear; I would spend the rest of my life shedding them for her. I would do anything for my Nessie. If this meant holding her as she cried herself to sleep; I would. I always would.

* * *

Please review. c:

Love, Joplin.


	12. Chapter 12: Past

Just a few quick things.

This chapter is from Nessie's point of view.

I tried to originally write it from Jake's POV.

It didn't work out. At all.

Secondly, I feel I should admit something.

Writing "lemons" (Is that what they're called?)

Is not my thing. I repeat. Not. My. Thing.

I apologize if this is horrible. I apologize very much.

Thirdly, this takes place maybe.. Uhm, a month or so after last chapter?

Yeah, a month sounds good. c:

Also, I apologize because... Well.

Please don't hate me.

Please don't hate me.

You'll hate me for this chapter. :c

So sorry.

I honestly didn't try to make Jake the bad guy.

Oh no. Just read, please. Sorry.

* * *

_Falling to the ground_  
_I was anxious to be found_  
_You can always go home_  
_To the safety of your cloud_

_Don't let go_  
_I need you to hang around_  
_I am so broke_  
_And foolishly in love_  
_-Museum of flight, by Damien Jurado_

I stood in front of Jacob, naked. I stepped out of the pool of my clothes around my feet and stood there; awkwardly. I crossed my arms over my bare chest and looked at him. I had never been so… vulnerable before in my life. How did people find this exciting, or thrilling? I wanted to curl up under layers of blankets. I wanted to hide myself from the rest of the world. I wanted to hide myself from Jake. I looked down at the bulge in his jeans and blushed. I could feel the heat spread from my face to my neck to my chest. I looked down at the floor; at my bright pink toe nail polish.

"Hey, Ness." He cupped my face in his hands and gently moved my head to look at him, "Darling, you're so beautiful." He kissed me on the lips, slowly. "Are you okay Ness?" He stroked my hair gently, his large hand stopping at the small of my back.

I looked up into his eyes and the nodded. "Yeah, just, uncomfortable I guess." I sat down on the bed and looked up at him. My stomach was doing gymnastics. I felt like I could puke at any moment.

"Baby, why are you uncomfortable?" He furrowed his brow, "It's just me, it's just your Jake." He smiled and stood in front of me. He rested his hands on my legs and slowly moved them apart.

I shook my head furiously and crossed my legs. "Please don't." I whispered.

His eyes widened, "Darling, what's wrong?" He sat next to me on the bed and pulled me to him. "Ness, you have to tell me what's wrong." He whispered in my ear.

"It's just… It just feels wrong." I was starting to cry, and I hated myself for it. I wiped at my eyes and pulled a blanket around me.

He scoffed, "Nessie. Nessie." He was hurt; I knew just from his voice that I had broken his heart. "Nessie, our love isn't wrong." He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. "If you want to stop, we can. Right now." He pulled away to look me in the eyes.

I shook my head, "No, just. I don't want to be the only one who's… naked." I felt so embarrassed. I hated the way he looked at me. I hated the way his eyes looked so hungry at my naked flesh. I hated it.

He smiled, "Is that why you're so uncomfortable? Ness, you see me half naked every day. Trust me, I'm no masterpiece. Not like you."

I smiled uneasily and reached for the zipper of his jeans. His hands stopped me and he shook his head, "I don't want you to see it." He whispered.

I furrowed my brow, "Why? What's wrong with me seeing it Jake? You see me and I'm completely naked. Is it some kind of double standard or something? You can see me but I can't see you?"

He sighed, "It's not like that Ness. Not at all. I just don't want to overwhelm you." He kissed along my neck. "Please, just let me make love to you Ness. That's all I want. Please." He whispered.

I felt sick, could I back out now? I loved Jake. My Jacob. I loved him with every part of me. I just didn't want this. Not like he wanted this. I knew this would change us. I knew once we did this we could never be best friends. I would be his. His imprint. His Nessie. Someday, maybe his wife. I didn't know if I wanted that. I scooted to the middle of the bed and slowly laid down, resting my head on his pillow. I looked up at him and saw his eyes looking me over.

He took his shirt off, and I stared at his muscles. I wanted to run my hands over them and feel them contract with every movement. I wanted to feel them against my naked skin. But I was too frozen to move. I watched him as he took his jeans off, and I stared at the bulge in his boxers.

He saw me and smirked. His body hovering over mine, he kissed me, lightly at first. It was sweet, chaste; then his kisses turned rough, still passionate. He had never kissed me like this before, never kissed me with such force, such vigor.

I felt his large hands begin to explore my body and at that moment I felt that maybe this entire thing wouldn't be so bad. He was gentle and sweet, until he got to my core.

I yelped. He pulled away quickly and looked at me, "Did I hurt you? I didn't even-" He looked frantic as he tried to figure out where I was hurt.

I smiled, "You scared me. I- Obviously…" I pulled him back down to me and kissed him like he had kissed me.

"Are you sure you want this?" He pulled away from me again and I groaned at the lack of his warmth. "Because, Ness. I don't think I'll be able to stop later." He kissed my neck and down to my chest. His eyes locked with mine as his lips moved to my breast.

"Oh Jake." I moaned, it wasn't an invitation; but he took it as one.

He kissed me and reached into his bed side table and pulled out a condom. He pulled away from me as pulled down his boxers and rolled it on.

I stared at him in fear. Was that supposed to fit? I was honestly afraid. Not only for the pain I knew would come, but for what impact this would have on our friendship.

He laid down next to me and kissed me slowly, passionately as his hand slowly found its ways between my legs. A finger slipped in and I gasped against his lips. It was nice at first and I moaned to let him know it felt good. It went on like that for who knows how long, until he hovered over me once more and slowly pushed into me.

I screamed. I turned my face to the pillow and bit the soft fabric of the pillowcase. His arms wrapped around me and held me. "Oh Ness." He whispered, "I'm so sorry. Darling, I'm so sorry, it'll be over soon. Tell me when to move, tell me when you're ready." He kissed me and held me close to his body.

It didn't stop hurting. I moved, thinking it would alleviate some of the pain, that maybe it was just some odd position. He moved with me, slowly. I didn't know how to tell him to stop. He said he wouldn't be able to stop. I started panicking. I was going to puke. I was certain.

I did the only logical thing I could think of. I bit him. As hard as I possibly could, I knew if I bit him hard enough he wouldn't mistake it as some sexual act. He cursed pulled away, "Fuck!" He held onto his arm as blood trickled out.

I curled up into a ball, sobbing. This agony between my legs. This torture in such a sensitive place. I couldn't even look at him as he ran into the bathroom to get a towel. He came back out seconds later with a towel pressed to the wound.

"What the hell was that for?" He was livid. I looked up at him and his face softened, and then turned to panic. "Did I hurt you?" He ran over to me and pulled me into a sitting position. "Ness, did I hurt you?"

"I want to go home." I sobbed. "Please Jake. Please, take me home." I wrapped myself in the blanket and tried to gain my composure.

"Oh god. Ness, why didn't you tell me to stop? Ness?" He pulled me into his arms, "Baby, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

"Just take me home. Please Jacob. I want to go home." I didn't want to be in his arms, I didn't want to be in his bed. I moved slowly, to grab my clothes.

"Ness, don't move, Baby. I'll get you a heating pad or something." He grabbed my clothes off the floor and handed them to me. Then he pulled on his boxers and ran out.

I dressed, slowly, carefully. By the time he came back in I was already dressed, trying unsuccessfully to try and walk.

"Ness, baby. Lay down. Please, I got you the heating pad." He was moving me back to the bed.

"Stop!" I yelled, and he looked at me. "Stop. Just… stop. Just take me home."

He stared at me, "You are home, baby."

I wanted to scream, "Take me home. Take me to _my_ home. I don't want to be here anymore." I told him.

He looked like he was going to cry, "Ness-" but I cut him off.

"I will crawl home if you don't take me there now. I'll call my dad to come and tell him to come and get me. Is that what you want Jacob Black?" I was limping to the door when he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the car. He didn't look down at me for one second to put me in the car. The entire ride home he didn't say a single word to me. I saw him crying, I saw him shaking.

My parents were waiting in the driveway for us when we pulled up. I opened the door and slowly got out, my dad was there in an instant; his arms around me.

The screeching of metal tore my attention to the other side of the car. My mom had pinned Jake against the door. "You filthy mutt! I trusted you! I fucking trusted you!" She was screaming at him, and for a split second I didn't recognize her. I had never seen this angry, violent version of my mom.

Dad turned my attention away and led me inside. "Stay here Renesmee. Promise me, you'll stay here."

* * *

I hope two things.

1. That you don't hate me.

2. That the super awkward sex scene didn't make all of you vomit.

I'm sorry.

So sorry.

Please review.

Love, Joplin.


	13. Chapter 13: Past

Hey there. c:

It's been so long since I updated. :c

I hope you like this chapter.

Please review.

* * *

_Leave me out with the waste  
This is not what I do  
It's the wrong kind of place  
To be thinking of you  
It's the wrong time  
For somebody new  
It's a small crime  
And I've got no excuse  
-9 crimes, by Damien Rice_

I patrolled the Cullen's house for hours, before finally falling asleep under Nessie's window. I had to be as close to her as possible. Edward and Bella wouldn't let me see her. At least until the morning that is. So I would wait, sleep until dawn and then run back to the woods to phase into my human form. I got dressed and walked back to her house, hoping to meet her before she left for school.

Instead, she was sitting on the porch in short shorts and a tank top. I hope she didn't think I was going to let her go to school in that. She held in her hands two coffee mugs. She barely even looked up at me as I approached her.

I sat next to her, tentatively.

"I made you some coffee." She whispered and handed me the mug.

"Are you okay Ness?" I pulled her to me and buried my face in her hair. Every second away from her was pure torture. I would never get used to that separation. I would never get used to the feeling of her not being in my arms as we slept. I would never be okay with not waking and seeing her face in the morning.

"Of course." She rubbed my leg, "Why wouldn't I be?"

I pulled away, "Well, after everything that happened yesterday…" I furrowed my brow, wasn't she mad at me yesterday? She screamed at me, refused to see me, forced me to take her home.

She cleared her throat, "Yesterday never happened." She said. There was no arguing, it wasn't up for debate her tone was clear on the events of what happened.

"What?" I almost dropped my mug.

She sipped her coffee. "Yesterday never happened. Do you understand?" She glanced over at me before watching the driveway. Was she expecting someone?

"Ness. We made love and-"

She dropped her mug; her hands were shaking like she was having a seizure. She jumped back from the broken shards of porcelain and hot coffee. I set my mug down and jumped up and held her.

"Nothing happened. Nothing." She shook her head, sobbing.

"Nessie, darling. What's wrong?" I whispered, I swayed with her in my arms. How could she act like this? How could she act like nothing had even happened between us? I realize that I hurt her, somehow, but how was I supposed to make it better if she acted like it never happened?

"Please, I don't want to think about it. Ever." She clutched at my back.

Had I hurt her this much? "Nessie." I kissed the top of her head, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would hurt that much. Baby…"

"How do you not get it, Jake?! I don't want to talk about it. Ever. I don't want to even think about it! I made a huge mistake. Huge. And I can never go back and change that." She pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"A mistake? Is that all it was to you?"

"Yes. A mistake! I wish I could go back and slap myself. Do whatever it took not to get into bed with you. It was a stupid idea." She shook her head, "I'd really like it if you left. For a while."

I was in shock. This was my Nessie. My imprint. We had shared something beautiful. I was her first, her only, and she regretted it. I nodded, "I wish I could change it too." I pulled her to me, "I wish I could do anything to make you happy." It was the truth. The only truth. "I'll pick you up after work." I kissed her forehead.

"No, Jake. I don't think you should." She looked up at me with tears in her big brown eyes.

"What are you talking about? Ness, Darling, I don't understand. You're acting so strange." I moved the hair out of her face.

She gently pushed me away, "I'm breaking up with you."

Who knew five words could shatter someone's entire universe?

* * *

Oh no. D:

So sorry for that ending. Please review.

Lots of love, Joplin.


	14. Chapter 14: Past

What? What? What is this? Is she finally updating?!

That's what you're asking. Maybe.

And yes, she finally is. :)

Sorry, no song lyrics for this chapter. :(

* * *

I don't remember much of what happened after Nessie made my entire universe collapse inwards. I remember Edward and Bells storming out of the house as I felt that I was on the verge of phasing. Bella pulled Renesmee back inside as Edward dragged me back into the woods.

The rest is foggy after that. I got home sometime later than I should have; completely forgetting about work in the entire mess of my life that went on. The next thing I remember was coming home, looking through all the cabinets until I found the bottle of vodka. And that leads to where I am now, laying on my bed with an empty bottle of absolut, and a heavy heart.

I reached over to check my phone, only to see no new messages or calls. I left countless texts and voice mails for Nessie, begging her to call me back. It was six o'clock in the evening when I finally got out of bed and slipped my shoes on. I decided I definitely needed more liquor. So I grabbed my car keys off the counter and got in my car. I knew I was probably too buzzed to drive, especially after downing an entire liter of alcohol. Luckily, my wolf metabolism helped my blood alcohol content remain relatively low. I drove to the nearest bar and stumbled out of my car. Maybe driving wasn't the best idea ever.

I checked my phone one last time before I opened the door and walked into the dimly lit bar; filled with the sounds of billiard balls hitting the sides of the wooden pool table; the sounds of conversation. I walked to the bar and sat down on one of the stools, away from the general consensus.

"What'll it be?" The bartender, a woman probably in her late forties, asked. She gave me a small smile when I looked up at her. "Oh honey, I'll get you something real strong." She scurried over to the other side of the bar, only to return moments later with a small glass, filled with ice and some brown liquid.

"Thanks." I swallowed whatever it was in one gulp.

"I'll take one too." Came a small voice to my right. I glanced over, seeing a petit blonde sliding onto the stool beside me.

The bartender nodded and got the girl a glance, filling both of ours, and then went down the bar to take care of her other patrons.

"The name's Millie." The girl beside me chirped, I could feel her breath on my neck; and I couldn't decide if I wanted to smack her away or pull her closer. Wait, what? That was surely the alcohol beginning to take effect. At least it was better than feeling so utterly desolate; oh that's right. I suddenly remembered why I was here.

"Jacob." I answered, offering her my hand. She giggled, and took my huge hand in her tiny one. I gave her a tight smile, "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" I leaned towards her.

She flushed, "It's my birthday. My twenty-first birthday," her smile gradually faded "And all of my friends are either busy or working or whatever." She wrapped her hands around the glass. "So I'm here." She smiled weakly.

I frowned, "Wow, those are some shitty friends." I mumbled.

She shrugged and took a swig of her drink, and tried to hide her coughing.

And then she was leading me to the bathroom of the bar, a small little thing. It was dirty, and there were bars on the hazy window. Granted, I had a few more drinks. Okay, a lot more. Too many. And it's true what they say about your inhibitions being lowered when you're drunk. In this case, very drunk. If I was sober, I probably wouldn't have given Millie the time of day; let alone be in this run down bar.

I lifted her up on the bathroom counter and went straight for her lips. It was awkward, her lips didn't move like Nessie's did. Her hands went straight for the bulge in my jeans, and I shuddered with the thought of Nessie ever doing anything like that. My Ness would have never even dreamed of being so forward, regardless of the situation.

I'm not sure whose idea it was to go back to my house, but we did. I paid the tab and she followed me back to my car.

"Are you okay to drive Jakey?" She slurred from the passenger seat.

I was too intoxicated to care that she called me that. Meaning, I was also too intoxicated to drive. I grunted a yes, and took off down the road. Millie kept her hands on me; on my thighs, my arms, my neck. She just touched me. And for some reason, I was okay with it; and I had a feeling it was more than the alcohol. Somehow I felt like this was my own way of spiting Nessie. Oh Ness.

By some stroke of luck, we made it back to my house; completely unharmed. I got out of the car and she followed me inside, her hand already down my pants. I groaned against her mouth and picked her up in my arms; her legs wrapping around my waist, her arms entangling around my neck.

She scooted up the bed so she was sitting against the headboard and she smiled at me.

I stared at her, probably for too long, before returning the smile. I walked to the bedside table and pulled out the box of condoms. I ripped one off and went to the bed, sitting on it as Millie crawled into my lap.

And then the doorbell rang.

I don't think I've ever sobered up that fast. The door opened quietly, and Millie looked at me with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Jake?" A voice called from the entryway.

I looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table; 2:03 am. I got up and motioned for Millie to stay there.

"Jake, I just came by to get my clothes." It was Nessie; standing in the foyer wearing sweats and a baggy sweater. Her hair looked greasy and unwashed; and I wondered how she had managed to look so disarrayed in such a short amount of time. Hadn't I just seen her this morning? Or well, yesterday morning?

She looked up at me and gave me a sad smile. "Hi." She barely croaked out.

"Ness." I whispered.

"I'm just going to-" She motioned to her room.

"Oh, of course." I nodded.

She nodded and walked to her room, toting a suitcase behind her.

I followed her and turned the light on for her. "Do you need any help?"

She stood in the entrance of her closet, not moving, not answering my question. Her hands balled into fists at her sides.

"Ness?" I reached out to her, rested my hand on her shoulder.

She turned quickly, tears in her eyes. "Oh Jake." She whispered; and then her hands were on my chest, balling my shirt up in her fists. She was on her tip toes, pulling me down to meet her. Her lips were against mine, and I could feel her melt into me.

"Jakey?" And it was the worst possible circumstance. Millie standing in the doorway, still tipsy. Nessie in my arms, and then she wasn't. She took a step back from me, and looked at me; wide eyed and unbelieving.

"Oh." She mouthed, and then she was running out of her room.

Millie was crying, shaking her head. Eventually she was gone too.

I think I'm getting good at being alone.

* * *

Please, Please Please don't ever drink and drive. Don't drive while buzzed. Don't drive while intoxicated.

With that aside, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Please review.

Lots of Love

JoplinHadleigh


	15. Chapter 15: Present

_"Pull me out...pull me out... can't you stop this all from happening?_  
_Close the doors and keep them out."_

_"Dig me out...oh, dig me out..._  
_Couldn't you have kept this all from happening?_  
_Dig me out from under our house."_

_Thirteen by The Antlers_

I called Nessie every other day when she returned from her honeymoon, not once did she ever pick up the phone. The last time I had seen her was the day she got back, and she told me she "didn't understand her feelings for me". What did that even mean? Was she still in love with me? It had been about a month since I had last seen her, and it was a nice Saturday morning- nice for fall.

I poured some coffee into a thermos and grabbed Bruno's leash.

He perked up from his bed across the room, and his small stump of a tail began to wag furiously.

"You wanna go see mommy?" As if I had to ask. He was across the room faster than I could blink. I hooked his leash up to the ring on his collar and headed out to the car.

Bruno normally hated car rides; when Nessie and I brought him home he whined all the way from the shelter. It wasn't until later that Nessie would sit in the backseat with him and snuggle him in blankets to calm him down.

Nessie's new house was only fifteen minutes from ours. A part of me was happy they were so close; but she was still so far away when she wasn't in my arms. I pulled out my phone and called her to tell her I was on my way, but there was no answer. Not that that really surprised me anymore.

I pulled into her driveway and helped Bruno out of the car. We made our way to the door; Bruno running as fast as he possibly could, and me being dragged along.

I rang the doorbell and waited.

And waited.

I was about to ring it again when Nessie finally opened the door.

"Oh. Hi Jake." She smiled at me, "Oh Bruno!" She knelt down to kiss the top of his head.

"I called to tell you that we were on our way, but you didn't answer." I pulled her into a hug. It wasn't until I pulled away that I saw how tired she looked. Her hair looked dull, and she had bags under her eyes.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, I've just been so busy. Moving and stuff."

I nodded, standing there awkwardly.

"I would invite you in but…" She shook her head, "It's such a nice morning, do you want to sit on the back porch?" She took my hand in hers and led me around the back of the house; not waiting for my answer.

We sat on the porch, looking out at the woods behind her house. Bruno rested his head on her lap and she stroked his fur absently.

"Are you ashamed of how messy your house is Ness? Because I'll admit right now that our house is so much worse." I laughed.

She flinched, and then I saw her laughing it off. "Yeah, all the cardboard boxes and knick knacks to line my mantle with." She smiled at me, but it faded once she looked at Bruno on her lap.

"Hey," I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and I felt her curl into my side. "What's wrong Ness? You're acting so jumpy." I let my fingers intertwine with her hair.

She shook her head, "Nothing. I'm not jumpy. I just need to go inside. I should check on Luke, he's got a cold. The flu or something." She mumbled and jumped up quickly. Bruno huffed in irritation as he had just fallen asleep. Then she was gone, and Bruno and I were left staring at each other in confusion.

She came back a few minutes later with a blanket and a cup of coffee, she smiled at me like there was nothing wrong, and she sat down and curled into me. I took the blanket from her and draped it over her shoulders.

"He's fine." She said it like she was trying to convince herself rather than me.

I nodded, and wrapped an arm around her, "Is there something I should know?" I whispered. "Is he hurting you?"

She choked on a sob, "No." She shook her head furiously, "No."

I was close to running inside and beating the snot out of him when I heard her small sobbing. "I think you should leave." She looked away from me as she wiped her tears.

"Nessie." I stood up and stared at her, "What the hell is going on?" I was getting furious; what was she keeping from me? "You don't answer my calls for a month. You don't even have the decency to answer once just to tell me that you're okay! And- And you leave my house saying that you don't understand your feelings for me. What the hell is going on? Is he hurting you, because I'll kill him Ness. I'll fucking kill him." I was shaking.

"Please just go. Okay? I can't handle this right now, and you're just making it so much harder for me. I want you to leave. I don't want you to ever come back to my house again. " She was whimpering into the back of Bruno's neck.

My heart broke. I kneeled in front of my imprint and rested my hand on her knee. "I'm not going to leave, not if he's hurting you."

"Damnit Jacob. When will you learn?" She was shaking more than I was, "You don't have any say over my life. Not anymore. I'm married, and it's not to you. Do you understand me? I want you to leave." She looked up at me with red rimmed eyes.

Was she doing this to hurt me? I stared at her for what seemed like hours. "Yeah, fine. I'll leave. But don't think for a second that I won't tell your parents what's going on here."

She scoffed, "Right, like they don't already know."

I left. I picked up Bruno from his spot on Nessie's lap and drove faster than I should have. How could she stand for this? Was she going to play the dumb house wife as her new husband beat her? I could think of no other reason for how she was acting.

But I was wrong. I drove straight to the Cullen's residence; my blood boiling. I barely remembered to get Bruno out of the passenger seat. I carried him inside, not bothering to knock. My manners vanished long ago.

"Do you know what the-" I saw all the Edward and Bella sitting there, looking unbelievably sad.

"We know. But it's not what you think." Bella stood and wrapped her arms around me.

And that's when it all made sense, when they informed me that I couldn't have been any farther than the truth.

The words hung like a film in the air. Cancer; and he's terminal.

I don't understand how the love of my life could keep this from me. I'm supposed to be her confidant; the one person she can tell everything to. When had I fucked up so badly that she couldn't even share this with me?

* * *

Please review, favorite, anyhting.

Love, Joplin.


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